Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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