you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
that is very illegal...i love you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
