Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
