I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
