I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
