Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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