Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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