Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
