quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
