They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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