a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
