covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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