He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
