FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
