I seem to have left my pride at pride
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
