He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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