3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
