Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
