Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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