forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
