so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
