I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
