a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
