just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
