just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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