Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
