So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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