I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
