I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
