babies were throwing up all over the place
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's never too late to be topless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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