I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we should paint friendship bongs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
