I am midnight drunk by noon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
