I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
