he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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