her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
