Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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