Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
