Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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