I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
