How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
