Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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