I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
