my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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