I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
