I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
