i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
