Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
