quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
