If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just cut my nipple shaving
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
