i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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