Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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