i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
